Lonely No More

I remember reading a friend's blog/rant about singleness a few months ago. He recounted a polite small-talking encounter that he had had with a fellow member of his single's ward. The other young man had thought to ask if he had "found anyone" before he had even asked for his name or offered his own. I remember running into that phrase before, when people had asked if I had "found anyone" to marry. Blech, I really don't like that wording!

I'm married right now, but I do remember what it was like to be in a single's ward; that awful tension where if you don't make it out to the activities people assume you're not serious about"finding someone," or rather "being found," if one must put it that way. Then if I did attend a few get-togethers, I would sit and politely exchange "how are yous" and "I've been in the ward for however longs" with members of the opposite sex, and I always felt like I was being appraised or sized up somehow. Oh, I know it was probably just me being paranoid, but if we pen people together due to their lack of significant others in hopes that they will "find someone," I tend to get judgmental, a teeny bit self-conscious, and the smallest bit sour. No, I didn't get engaged to avoid this. I just never went to any activities.

I won't pretend that I will never ever use the wording "finding someone" again. It happens to be an accepted and widely used phrase, and as an English-speaking communicator, it is pretty much in my vernacular just because other people use it. But, if I let myself think about it, well... now you know what I'll be thinking.

I didn't "find someone," like I had lost something and anyone would do if I could just locate them. I fell in love.